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3 Kisses of Death in Social Influence

3 Kisses of Death in Social Influence
6 things you need to know about Social Influence
There is no arguing that technology has changed the way we contact, communicate and build our sphere of influence. This change is so dramatic and powerful that if we do not embrace an effective strategy, we could be left without a chair when the music stops. The currency for today's world is social influence and if you do not know how to gather it, you will have none to spend.

The 3 Kisses of death to social influence

The First Kiss-Over Zealous and Self Serving
I often see the first contact in social networking as too aggressive. Whether at a networking event or through a digital platform. When I am approached by these people, I know that they only have one thing in mind and it isn't me. I can predict by this aggressive attempt that they are going to either ask me to buy their product or dismiss me because I am not their ideal client. Either way, this repels social influence quickly and starts the process of a negative personal brand.
The first kiss is the first impression. Just like a real kiss, the first point of contact sets the tone for the rest of the interaction. We live in a world that allows us to make initial contact quickly and it is important to convey our motive in a way that leaves them wanting more. The best way to get them wanting more is to make it all about them.

The 2nd kiss-You aren't who I thought you were! Yuk!
So the first kiss went well and now I am open to a second meeting. You left me wanting more when we first met and now I am excited for the relationship. In my mind, I am thinking this really could be good for both of us! So we meet again and you act like it's going to be all about me and I am just starting to think I will reciprocate and then you propose. HIT THE BRAKES!!! The Proposal-You ask me to buy from you or help you in some way. This would be okay if we established some trust but now that trust will be hard because I can clearly see the relationship is all about you and you made it that way. It is different if I make it all about you, in fact it is paramount that I make it all about you if I want to build social influence. It is also paramount for you to make it all about me if you want to build social influence. 80% of sales close after the 5th meeting because that is when real trust is established.

The 3rd kiss-Broken Promises. I probably need to move on and we need to see other people : (
So let's say that you put your best foot forward and we mutually agree to continue with the relationship. I decide to extend you some trust and give you an opportunity to prove that you are the real deal. You do a great job on accepting the opportunity but you do not follow through with your promise to deliver. This is the 3rd and most likely final kiss of death to social influence. I may not kick you out of my network but I certainly cannot depend on you or refer you to anyone else. Bummer for you and for me.
If you want to move your life and business forward, you will need to gather social influence. My philosophy is to gather it in large quantities and quickly. It is not about doing everything right but it is about doing the right things.

3 Right Moves for a Great Business Relationship!

Give First
Giving first becomes natural when you come to the realization that all of your needs will be met if you establish social influence. Once you have settled on this fact, you make a decision that you will give first without any expectation of return, all of the time, no matter what. Your return will come from the Law of Reciprocity and you do not need to obligate the person you are serving.

Give Big
Do you want a BIG life with BIG accomplishment and BIG happiness? Give BIG because that is what you want. Be the change you want to see, plant what you want to harvest and give in the way you want to receive. By giving big, it tells the other person that they are important to you and they are worth your sacrifice. Trust starts to open up and blossom and all things begin finding a way to give back to you.

Give Consistently
In order to establish Social Influence, keep it and create raving fans that refer you everywhere all of the time, you must be consistent. I call this "Consistency of Character". Be who and what you say you are. Don't let giving be an act, make it what you do all of the time. Get known as someone that gives, serves and cares for other people. This will allow thousands to depend on you and ultimately they will give you your life and business growth. Contrary to popular saying, it is never "Give and Take". There is only "Give and Receive".
Brett Labit CEO/Founder LIZ Global, Inc. Last modified on